Joe's Random Number Generator and Employment Agency
Welcome to Joe's! What are you looking for this fine day? Need you a completely, utterly, 100% guaranteed random number? Is this totally, unquestionably random number in the form of dice? Mayhaps you seek some other sort of completely random number? Or perhaps what you need is a high-quality hireling? Henchmen, mercenaries, porters, all 100% loyal and guaranteed competent! Joe's can provide all this, and more, at a reasonable rate!
Other online dice rollers provide impersonal random numbers. Here at Joe's Random Number Generator and Employment Agency, we prioritize customer service over abstract principles like averages and fairness. While other dice rollers offer you only one of each die, Joe's offers you several dice to choose from!
Some other employment agencies feature lengthy and expensive hireling screenings. Here at Joe's, we would never waste your valuable time with such utter nonsense! Hirelings at Joe's are completely unscreened, so that you can have the widest possible range of totally dependable hirelings to choose from.
Dice and Other Random Numbers (on sale now!)
Random Number 1: 4
Random Number 2: 64
Red d20: 16
Black d20: 20
Blue-green d20: 3
Sparkly d20: 3
4e Initiative d20: 20
1st ed Initiative d20: 1
Funny-Lookin' d12: 11
Funnier-Lookin' d12: 6
Funniest-Lookin' d12: 12
White Wolf and 7th Sea handful o' d10: 9 3 7 7 10
Especially-for-Bastard-Swords d10: 10
Orange d10: 1
Ugly d10: 10
Tri-stat Pair 'o d10: 2 2
Cure Light d8: 7
Gold d8: 1
Clear d8: 7
Green d8: 7
Silver d8: 6
Paladin and Warlock Handful o' d8: 7 6 6 8 6
WEG Star Wars wild d6: 1
Handful o' Funny-lookin' d6: 5 1 4 6 5 4
Special Character-generation d6: 5 5 4 6 6
Grrrreeeaatsword pair o' d6: 4 3
Beige d6: 3
Blue d6: 4
Double-Handful o' Wushu d6: 1 3 5 3 3 5 5
Red-orange d4: 3
White d4: 2
Handful o' Totally Legit Magic Missile d4: 4 3 3 3
Guaranteed Competent Hirelings
The definitely-not-incompetent human torchbearer, available for only 20 gold pieces a week!
The definitely honest halfling bodyguard, at a special price of only 40 gold pieces a week!
The highly dependable halfling hireling, at a special price of only 47 gold pieces a week!
The never-convicted-of-a-felony human minion, a steal at only 43 gold pieces a week!
The completely trustworthy halfling flunky, a steal at only 27 gold pieces a week!
The clearly honorable halfling butler, a bargain at only 41 gold pieces a week!
The trustworthy-looking human butler, available for only 39 gold pieces a week!